Undone
by IAmGlitterati
Summary: Kurt's always had to be strong, and there's a time when he starts to come undone.


**Okay, so first ever Glee fanfic! So...I'm sorry if it sucks. Review and stuff so I can get better. **

"I don't see why we have to wait for him." Rachel broke the silence that had settled over the Glee Club. "I mean, if he's not serious about showing up, then he's not serious about performing, and he doesn't deserve to know what's going on."

The rest of the room turned, with bated breath, to see what Mercedes' reaction would be to this. It was a well known fact that she would easily defend Kurt from any words or accusations. Instead, the silence that followed was eerie and not at all normal. When she realized everyone was staring at her, she shrugged. "What? I don't know whats keeping him...we haven't been as close as we used to be...white boy won't share _anything_ with me anymore."

Will, still facing away from Mercedes, frowned slightly. Hadn't he _just _told Kurt to stop pushing his friends away? He turned towards the group. "Has anybody seen Kurt today?"

"Yeah." Finn shrugged. "I saw him...what, seventh period?"

"What if its the jocks again?" Tina asked quietly.

Finn squinted slightly, confused, and tilted his head. "Wait...do they still hate him?"

Puck snorted. "Of course. No jock is gonna be, 'Oh look a queer! Let's go skip through meadows and braid flower chains!' That's so not happening, moron."

"Shut up, Puckerman." Quinn was standing now, her words loaded with hidden threats. She directed her gaze to Will, and he felt himself unintentionally flinch. She had really perfected that Sue Sylvester glare. "Mr. Schue, shouldn't we look for him or something?"

"Quinn, it might be nothing. He might just be running late."

"_Or _it might be everything."

How had he found himself in a stare-down with one of his students? He sighed mentally. "Fine, Quinn. You can go look for him."

Tina spoke up for a second time. "Mr. Schue, shouldn't you go? You're a teacher."

Quinn, halfway out the door, sighed and turned on her heel. "Coming, Mr. Schue?"

Will ran a hand through his curly hair and caught up with the head cheerleader. "The rest of you...run through the song a couple of times."

The walk through the halls was eerily silent, and Will could feel the tension rolling off Quinn in waves. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Quinn, he's probably fine. He doesn't let things get to him."

Quinn stopped abruptly, her eyes flashing again. She took a step closer, and when she spoke, it was with the same voice she had earlier reprimanded Puck with. "Mr. Schue, you are so _oblivious_! Just because he doesn't appear to let things get to him, doesn't mean he's not hurting inside. Remember the week we did Lady Gaga? If it weren't for our timely appearance, I'm fairly certain he would have been just a crumpled, bleeding body on the floor!"

"Quinn-"

"Oh I'm not done! Back before Puck was in Glee Club, the entire football team used to corner Kurt before school in order to give him a freaking dumpster toss! And deep down, you _knew _what they where going to do. And you never, _ever, _stopped them." She paused a moment, and Will hoped she was done, but then she continued on, ruthless as ever. "And you're a music _professional._ Even _I_ could tell that Kurt threw the high f in Defying Gravity. Did you ever wonder about _why_? Or did you just hand it over to Rachel without question? And after this, you still think that, deep down, Kurt doesn't feel anything?"

Will looked down, unable to meet Quinn's gaze. He felt the sting of her words, and wished he could easily dismiss them, but he knew she was right. It was an awful feeling, he realized, to find out that you've easily done what you've tried to not do. He tried to make all his kids feel like they where something special, something that was worth so much more than they appeared...but he rarely exchanged compliments with Kurt. He remembered the Britney Spears blow-up, Kurt's frustration. And he finally understood why Kurt was so frustrated. And a second later, he remembered rehearsing for the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Kurt had been amazing at Riff Raff...but now that he thought back, he couldn't remember a single compliment directed personally at Kurt.

"Quinn..." He knew his voice sounded pathetic and pleading, but he couldn't help it. "I really did fail him, didn't I?"

Her angry expression softened. "There's still time to make it up, Mr. Schue. Maybe not all of it...maybe he'll never trust you or look up to you completely...but maybe it'll be better." He nodded, not sure of what else to do.

Kurt rested his head back against the locker, the side of his face stinging. For the hundredth time that day, he thought of what things could be like if...well, if anything, really. If he had never followed Karofsky into the locker room...if he had transferred to Dalton. If...if he didn't exist.

_That would be better, woudn't it,_ he thought, eyes closed tightly as he tried to wish away reality. _People would like it...Finn would like it, he wouldn't be stalked by the creepy gay kid anymore, Karofsky and Azimio would like it, Puck would like it, Mercedes, Artie, Tina...none of them really liked him as much as they once had...he could tell. And Mr. Schue...he used to believe that Mr. Schue actually cared. But Mr. Schue wouldn't hate it if he were to die. He would be rid of the nuisance, the kid that screamed at him about Britney Spears, that bothered him about solos, the kid that was so fucking depressing and stupid all the time. _

He felt tears welling at the corners of his eyes, but he held them back, wrapping his arms more securely around his knees. He wondered briefly what time it was...how long he had been sitting here underneath his locker, how long since Karofsky has slammed him face-first into his locker door, face-first into the letters that read 'courage'. Face first into that. Oh, the irony.

He knew it would be so easy, to just disappear. His dad had the pills the hospital had given him after his heart attack, bottles and bottles of them. So easy just to swallow them down. _His dad.._Kurt squeezed his eyes shut tighter and trembled violently. _No, he wouldn't care either. No matter what he said, he had Finn. It was obvious Finn was the son he always wanted. It was obvious when every Friday night dinner, them and Carole would talk nonstop. And he'd be all alone, just like he always was. _For a second, he debated texting Blaine. _Blaine hates me too, _realized in an awful moment, _I'm always bothering him, always whining and bitching about my awful life. He's got to hate me. _

He heard footsteps far off, getting closer, but he didn't open his eyes. The person would pass right by, not seeing him...just like always. The freshly forming bruises on his face throbbed, but Kurt reminded himself that after tonight, he wouldn't feel them anymore. After tonight, he'd be out of everyone's way.

Quinn yanked on Will's arm harshly, pulling him down a different hallway. He was about to question her, when he saw why. Sitting in front of his locker, curled in on himself, eyes closed as his head rested against cold metal, was the very boy they were searching for.

Quinn knelt down on one side of him, Will kneeling on the other side. "Kurt?" She asked, her voice suprisingly gentle.

Will placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder, guilt coursing through him as the boy froze up at his touch. "Kurt, are you okay?"

The boy opened his eyes, and both saw the barely restrained tears glistening in the corners. "I'm fine," he muttered, dipping his head down to avoid their searching gazes.

"Bullshit!" Will looked in shock at the head cheerleader. He had never before heard her cuss, but now seemed like a bad time to reprimand her use of language. "Kurt, you're not fine. There is no way in hell."

Kurt turned his head slightly away from her, and Will caught a glimpse of a forming bruise that seemed to cover the entire side of his face. "Kurt, what happened?" He reached out a hand to turn Kurt's face more towards him, to survey the damage, but Kurt flinched violently at his touch. Will froze, feeling even worse than before.

"Please, Kurt, just let us help?" Quinn begged him.

He suddenly leapt to his feet, anger burning in his eyes. "Why should I let you help me?" Time seem to freeze a moment, as his words echoed in the sudden silence. Then, his face collapsed, a sad sort of acceptance covering his face like a mask...no, not like a mask...like a mask had finally disappeared, and this was what was underneath...just a scared little boy, a boy who fate has given too hard of a life too, a boy who's fed up with living. "You don't care. None of you care." And then, the dam burst, and tears began to stream silently down his cheeks as he collapsed.

Will lunged forward, catching the boy, surprised by how light he was. Kurt wound his fists into the fabric of Will's shirt, as though it was a lifeline. Will held the small boy, feeling his tears soak through his shirt. With one hand, he stroked the impeccably styled hair, and with the other, he rubbed small circles on Kurt's back, trying to ease the boy's violent trembling.

"Quinn," he said quietly, "Finn is back to living at Kurt's house, right?"

"Yes..."

"Go get him now."

She ran off, her shoes making nearly no noise on the polished floor. "Kurt." Will turned his attention back to the shaking boy who was crying mutely into his chest. "Kurt, I know I don't seem like I care, and you should know that I really, really regret all those times I didn't help you. I know I'm an idiot, I know I've made mistakes, but I really do care. I care about you, Kurt. We all do." He was speaking in a voice barely above a whisper, still encircling Kurt with his arms. "Please realize that we do care...even if we've screwed up, even if we've once treated you like shit, every single one of us cares."

"I'm sorry." The voice was barely audible.

Will looked in shock at him. "You have _nothing _to be sorry about."  
"I'm sorry for wasting your time, for wasting everybody's time." The teenager still clung to him, and the trembling increased as he spoke.

Finn seemed to appear out of nowhere, dropping down beside Will. Will held a finger to his lips, and waited for Kurt to continue.

"No matter what any of you say, you all hate me." Kurt suddenly backed away from Will, edging back against the locker, as if he was trying to disappear. "You hate me. You hate me! Mercedes doesn't like me anymore. Finn thinks I'm just a creepy gay stalker-" At this point Finn looked fairly horrified, and barely restrained himself from reaching out to comfort Kurt. "-Puck's never liked me, Karofsky fucking assaulted me, fuck...even my dad. He told me I can never be friends with any straight guys. He doesn't want to have the creepy gay kid. He wants Finn, he prefers Fin...and fuck, fuck, fuck nothing's worth it and..."

The tears were flowing even fiercer now, causing Kurt to stumble over his words again. Will crept forward, and once more pulled Kurt into a tight hug. "I promise you...I don't hate you," he whispered, trying to soothe him.

"Kurt." Kurt turned away from Finn's voice, pressing himself up against Will, much to the teacher's surprise. "Kurt." Finn reached out a hand. "Kurt, look at me." Finn had never sounded more serious. He tipped Kurt's face upward, forcing their eyes to meet. "Kurt, I don't think you're a creepy gay stalker. Things may have gotten out of hand, but that's over now. You're awesome. And plus, our parents are probably going to get married, so you're like my little brother now...and I've always wanted a little brother." Finn watched Kurt's face anxiously, and when Kurt didn't immediately turn away, he smiled, glad his words had gone through to Kurt.

"Kurt?" Kurt turned back to Will, who was gazing at him questioningly. "Are you alright?"

Kurt's hands clenched tighter to Will's shirt as he shook his head _no. _"...but I will be." He met Will's gaze, and a ghost of a smile flickered on his pale, bruising face.


End file.
